Remember TV news coverage for SARS, the H1N1 flu, and the early days of coronavirus? Every time they showed China, there were Chinese people wearing face masks. And they were all the same white face masks. Hordes of ‘em.

Now we are the hordes in face masks. But everyone wearing the same white face masks is not the American way. If we have done nothing else during this pandemic, we have shown the world that we may get infected and die like you, but we are not all going to be seen wearing the same boring face mask.

The original and premium mask was the N95 – pointed and white but reserved for health care workers. I did see one man wearing one recently while I was shopping. He was always looking up and around just to show off his top tier mask, or so I thought.

As for me, I dug out some masks they gave me to take home after a previous hospital stay. I was probably charged for them, as I was for the plastic wash basin in that sickly pink color. I found the masks in the cabinet underneath the sink, right next to that tiny bottle of hospital mouth wash I also never opened. The mask was not an N-95, but the plain hospital white kind.

Early on, I saw many of my neighbors, who apparently had also had hospital stays, wearing the same masks. But when the order came down that we all had to wear face masks, there was a face mask shortage.

Americans, who are nothing if not resourceful, soon began wearing customized face masks.

I noticed that the younger people and people working in grocery stores and restaurant take out chose black face masks. Probably bought at a Harley-Davidson store, they provided an air of style with a hint of mystery. The “I may be wearing a face mask, but I am hip,” look.

Other stylish masks began popping up. The skull mask, with its cadaver-like bones and teeth caught my attention. I suppose it was the “I laugh in the face of coronavirus death,” look. I saw a woman wearing a multicolor skull mask. Little compares to a colorful-looking cadaver. These masks have the advantage of being reusable for Halloween.

Similarly, I saw tactical green camouflage masks which worked best if they matched the wearer’s outfit – usually, a green t-shirt and camouflage pants. A camouflage mask worn with a Hawaiian shirt just doesn’t cut it.

Inventive suggestions for face masks begin appearing on Facebook. Old underwear (washed I hope) fitted on the head. Cut up old padded bras was another choice. A Maxi-pad sanitary napkin taped to the cheeks. Coffee filters with straps. And the plastic bottle with its bottom cut off and squeezed over someone’s head.

I have never seen any of these in real life, mind you. Only in Internet photos.

Bandanas became a popular mask. It reminded me of the Lone Ranger days of my youth when the bad guys wore bandanas to rob the local bank, only to be caught by the masked (eyes only) man on the white horse.

A lot of bandanas were paisley. I even found one of those in the back of my sock drawer. It was from my single years when I dated a woman who loved to square dance. It served as a reminder that I would never have to do-si-do again.

With masks in short supply, the ladies of the local sewing clubs began to produce them. All those old pieces of fabric left over from quilts and blankets being stored in bags in the garage finally were put to good use. The two-piece hand-sewn masks had polka dots on one side and checks on the other – they were colorful – even though I doubted the amount of protection they provided.

The ladies would leave them outside their doors and invite people to come and pick one up. Then I read about door-to-door thieves (probably wearing bandanas) who would drive around, scoop them all up and go sell them on the black mask market. Where’s the Lone Ranger when you need him?

Aside from mask thievery, there were also mask controversies.

At one over-55 community, they began checking for masks as you drove in. All vendors who drove in had to be wearing a mask or they didn’t get it. What’s more, they could be fined $200 if caught inside the gates with no mask.

Residents also were reminded to put on their masks, even if they were in their cars with rolled up windows.

Then there was the online unmasking of mask scofflaws. Some people chose not to wear their masks when they were taking their afternoon walks (you know who you are!). People wrote and discussed their outrage about the no-mask people. It was the “You are killing me!” safety crowd versus the “I’m expressing my free will and not going near anyone,” crowd. Exchanges became quite heated. After this quarantine is over, future friends may be chosen based on how often and where you wore your mask.

Me, I’m still using my supply of white hospital face masks. Nobody complains and I feel I’m just another mask in the crowd. Maybe those hordes of Chinese had the right idea.